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She continued, “As I got a little bit older, I kind of, I didn’t really know how to navigate the world or romance, but I did start feeling mild attraction to people. And I didn’t know how to feel about it, but it came on suddenly with people that I was friends with. And after a certain amount of familiarity and connection and closeness, suddenly ping! ‘Oh, what’s this weird, tingly feeling whenever I’m near them? Why do I always think about them? Why do I want to be near them all the time?’ Like, I was starting to feel attraction and love, but it was in a weird order, like, never with strangers, never with people just because I looked at them, never just because of the way they looked. 

So I did have a couple of girlfriends, and I thought, ‘Oh, I’m just gay. That was it; I’m cool.’ I wouldn’t say that demisexuality is specifically linked to homosexuality. I would say that, for me personally, since bodies don’t matter, I’m attracted to both sexes. But there are plenty of straight demisexuals.

And I assumed I was gay for a little while. And then I liked a boy, and I was like, ‘Oh, okay, what?’ And it was a boy I’d known for quite a while, at least a year, so I’d developed a bond with him. And I didn’t feel anything for him, and then all of a sudden, it was like everybody was blurry, and then he just came into focus. And suddenly I noticed his voice and his body and the way he moved and the way he talked and the things he said and just everything, and it was all attractive. And what this has meant as well is that there is a lot of body diversity. Like, I have dated people of all different body types.”

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The Spotted Cat Magazine December 2024